Behind the ToolBelt is a live, raw, and uncut podcast that brings real, unfiltered conversations about business, leadership, and the entrepreneurial mindset. Hosted by Ty Cobb Backer, CEO of TC Backer Construction, this live show features leaders, innovators, and experts sharing their experiences, strategies, and insights. From building successful companies to overcoming professional and personal challenges, each episode offers valuable perspectives for entrepreneurs and business owners and leaders looking to grow, and make an impact.
You can love your work and still want to quit. That moment when you sit in the truck a little longer, stare at the phone, and think “what now?” is more common than most leaders admit, especially in construction, roofing, and any business where people depend on you every day.
We get honest about what to do when motivation dries up. We talk through why being tired does not erase your ability to lead, and why discipline has to be more dependable than your mood. You’ll hear practical ways to build determination like a skill: making commitments you can keep on a hard day, rebuilding self-trust through follow-through, and using small “next steps” to create momentum. We also dig into the pressures that come with being the person everyone counts on, including how pride can block asking for help.
Then we tackle a brutal leadership problem: continuing when you do not see progress yet. Using a roofing analogy, we break down how unseen preparation still matters, how to track real evidence of improvement, and when “more effort” is not the fix. We also talk delegation, communication, and how to stop becoming the martyr who carries everything alone.
If you’re leading a team, running a company, or trying to show up for your family while your confidence feels shaky, this one is for you. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs a nudge, and leave a review with the question you want us to answer next.
Behind The ToolBelt has merged with the TC Backer YouTube Channel. Everything BTTB and TCB is now in one place. Go to the channel and subscribe.
We have a kind of a belief system that either we're gonna push you up or gonna push you out. I don't wanna be around five other people that aren't pushing themselves to succeed. Success isn't about taking, but giving value first. Compensation follows contribution always. This is true. Authenticity every week. This is our story. We share with you our journey, we share with you our stars. Please welcome your host, Ty Cobb Backer.
back, everybody, to Behind the Tool Belt. Today is episode 357. And today I want to talk about something that can be hard to admit when you're the person everybody else looks to for answers. What keeps you what keeps you going when you want to quit? I'm talking about those days when you sit in your truck for a few extra minutes before before you walk into the office, when the phone rings and you think, what now? When when you've been working hard, trying to do right by everybody, and you're wondering how much longer you can keep carrying everything. I think everybody reaches a point where motivation disappears. Walking away starts sounding easier than continuing on. But then you think of your family, you think of your team, you think of the people that trust you. You realize that whatever you do next affects not only you, but it affects them. So what keeps you moving when you don't feel inspired? When your confidence is gone, when you can't promise yourself this is going to work out. That's today's conversation. That's what I want to talk about. And if and if you're in that place right now or you have ever been in that place, you don't have to pretend you are somewhere else to be a part of it. Okay? Listen, motivation, motivation is great when it's there. You get an idea, you see an opportunity, you're ready to go. You can picture what you're building. Then the work gets complicated, the job goes sideways, somebody leaves, a customer's unhappy, you're working longer hours, and and somehow the list just keeps getting longer. The excitement that got you started isn't enough to get you through that particular Tuesday or that Monday morning. What happens then? Sometimes we make the situation harder by by judging ourselves for for how we feel. We think, if I really wanted this, I wouldn't be struggling, or a better leader would know how to handle this situation or know what to do. But but being tired doesn't prove that you don't care. And having a hard day doesn't erase your ability to be a leader. It does mean you need something more dependable than your mood to decide your next move. That that that that might be there might be a you might have to switch up your routine. You might have to commit to, you know, a promise that you made, a person you can call, you know, or maybe you have a person that you can call who who will help you, you know, think more clearly about a situation. You know, on a rough morning, the goal, the goal could be simple. Okay. Get your first meeting prepared. Have the conversation you've been avoiding. Follow through on the thing you told somebody you would do. And we've talked about these things on a lot of these on a lot of these episodes. And I feel like with the seasons coming up, the holidays coming up, I felt like now would be a good time to kind of bring some of these back back to the surface because I know I know there's a lot of people out there dealing with things in silence. I know people who are struggling with health concerns. I know people who are dealing with financial concerns. I know a lot of people out there, not just necessarily entrepreneurs or or leaders of huge organizations, but everyday people. And this this applies, everything that we talk about applies to everybody at any stage, at any level, anywhere you might be in your in your journey. You don't you don't have to you don't always have to feel excited about the entire future to take care of the responsibility that's in front of you. Okay, and sometimes sometimes after after you take a step, okay, and we've talked about this, movement creates momentum, okay. So sometimes after you take that step, a little confidence comes back. You have you have evidence that you can still do something useful even on difficult days. You may not feel motivated yet, but you're moving. Okay, that brings up that brings up another question, okay.
Is determination something I think we talked about this before. Is is determination something that you're born with, or is it something that you build? You know, some people seem naturally more willing to push through discomfort, okay? But I believe determination is something we can all practice. Think about think about when you learn it learned a new trade. You don't become dependable because you announce you're dependable. People watch what you do over time. Your actions give them a reason to trust you. You build trust with yourself the same exact way. You say you're going to make the call and you make it. You say you're going to ask for help and you ask. You make a mistake, you own it, and come back prepared to do better. Those things sometimes might look small, but each one gives us something to remember the next time you think, I can't handle this. You can say, I've done difficult things before. Let me figure out this next part. Here's where, here's where we get ourselves in trouble. Okay, we make commitments that only work on our best days. We we build a plan around unlimited energy, no interruptions, and everybody doing exactly what we expected. And that was probably your big your first mistake right there was expectation as a premeditated resentment, by the way. Then real life shows up. Okay. Build a commitment you can keep on a hard day, sometimes specific enough that that you'll know whether you did it or not. And maybe it's 15 minutes reviewing the numbers instead of avoiding them. Okay. Maybe it's maybe it's it's one honest conversation with a team member. Maybe it's getting home when you said you would be home because your family needs follow-through as well. Determination grows when we practice keeping meaningful commitments under imperfect conditions. Okay, so what makes one person keep going by while other people might stop? Okay, because I often wonder that myself sometimes, like, man, how does that dude? And I said something to Chuck one day, I was like, be that dude that people often say, how does he keep going? You know, be that person. Be that father where your children are like, I can't believe he still gets up every single day. Be that person, have those thoughts go through your head every morning when it's so hard sometimes to get out of bed, be that role model. We have we have to be careful here though, okay. From from the outside, we rarely we rarely know someone's whole story. Okay. We don't know what support someone has, what they've been, you know, what what they've already tried or what what can what continuingly is costing them. Okay. Still, there are things that that can help us stay in the work. Okay. One is having a finding your reason, your why, having a clear reason. When the work connects you to someone or something you deeply care about, you have a reason to take the next step, even when the excitement is gone. Okay. Another is support, all right? Somebody who can listen without immediately judging you. And I know I have people like that in my life. Some somebody who can say, let's look at this together, okay? And then another is is being willing to to change your approach. Okay. If something isn't working, determination has to it has to include learning. Okay. You can keep your commitment to your family and your team while changing the plan for how for how you feel fulfilled or or how you fulfill it. Okay. Maybe maybe you need to learn how to delegate. Maybe you need to stop offering a service that keeps creating problems. Maybe you need to admit that the way you've been running things has reached has reached its limit. Okay. That can take more courage than just putting in another long day. Trust me. When you say quitting isn't an option, okay. I say that a lot. People are counting on me. We need to take that responsibility seriously. Okay. Enough, enough to help sometimes carry us through those hard times. Our team needs you. Our family needs us to be able to make sound decisions. Okay. Our family needs a relationship with us. Being repl re relied on doesn't mean it doesn't mean you have to become only person the only person who can solve every problem. Okay. Because that I used to be that guy. I used to take all the calls. I used to answer all the text messages, all the emails, solve all the problems. I have I have come to realize that I don't have to be that for everybody. There are certain team members throughout the organization that can make decisions probably faster and better than I can on any given day. And that takes time, that takes trust, that takes trust in myself. Okay. And that takes trust in other people's ability as well. But a lot of that hinges upon how I feel about myself. Am I confident enough in myself to trust somebody else and not not be defensive because other people were making decisions without my authority? You know, and I struggled with that. And that's probably a whole other topic for another time that we can talk about. That's actually a really good topic because I think people get butthurt when people are making decisions without their input. And that can happen on both ends of the spectrum as well, too. And that's where a lot of times communication and trust come into play. What's up, Kim? Good to see you. Surprised Pete Peter Peter's probably hard at work this morning. So we need to let somebody know what's going on before we reach the point where we have nothing left to
give. Okay. And I've been there, I've done that. We've and shit, that can even create a situation where we become the martyr as well, too. We become very resentful towards those people that that we've been caring because we feel like they're not caring enough. However, we put them and ourselves in that situation to rely upon us that heavily. So, and again, that's probably another good topic for the next episode. So, anyhow, let's uh before I forget here, let's do today's poll. I love these. I love people's inputs. I I love I love the comments in there. So, so here's today, today's poll. And I know Kim can probably relate to a lot of this too. I know she she carries a lot on her shoulders that a lot of people don't know about outside of this place. I know a lot of us do, but especially Kim. Kudos to Kim. She's got big broad shoulders. I know that personally. I put a lot on them, a lot on her shoulders myself, and I know she carries a lot outside of here. So what keeps you going when things get hard? Okay, that's today's poll. That's the question. Okay, is it responsibility? Is it pride? Is it the the people people are counting on us? What's up, Pete? Good to see you, buddy. Thanks for joining us today. Or refusing to quit. And I'm gonna repeat today's poll. What keeps you going when things get hard? Okay, put your comments in there. I love seeing your comments. Is it responsibility? Is it pride? Is it the people counting on me, or is it refusing to quit? Put your answer in the comments. If you're listening later, think about which one you choose. Think about it. Could be a couple of them. I would imagine so. And then ask yourself why. Why you chose it? Responsibility might mean I made a commitment and I intend to honor it. All the above. Amen. To that. Responsibility. Right? Pride. Pride. Pride might mean I care about the quality of my work. But pride. Pride can also make it difficult to admit we need help. It's worth being honest about which one is driving us. The people counting on me. That one can carry a lot of weight. You can pitch your faces. I know I do. Our spouses, our kids, our team members who trust you with their future. And this is probably my biggest one. Refusing. Chuck's calling me. Chucky T. What's up, dude? Catch you on the rebound. By the way, Chuck is a cheater at golf. So let everybody, I wanted everybody to know that Chuck cheats at golf. Not only on his score, but uh he he he golfs with other people besides myself. So he's a cheater. It's a golf cheater. Yeah, it's a lot of good, a lot of good answers in there. Responsibility, a bunch. But counting on us. That's right, brother. I like the above all. But I would say one of the biggest ones I struggle with is refusing to quit. And that can be powerful. As long as you're still willing to listen and adjust. Okay. Your answer, your answer may change from from season, from season to season. Okay. The useful part is understanding what's actually keeping you moving right now. Okay. That that's the useful part. All right. Understanding what's actually keeping you moving right now. Okay.
Now, let's talk about one one of the hardest parts. Continuing when we don't see progress. Man, that sucks. I hate that. Alright, you go on a new diet, you're on the treadmill, you're pumping iron, and your muscles aren't getting any bigger, and starved yourself for 36 hours and you didn't drop one pound. All or nothing, baby. Let's go. Right? We're doing the work. We're trying to improve, but the results haven't caught up yet. And we start wondering whether any of it even matters. Why am I even frickin' doing this? Right. You know, in in construction, a lot, a lot of important work eventually gets covered up, especially in in roofing. A homeowner may never see every detail that makes a roof perform the way that it should, but those details still matter. Okay. The preparation that goes into installing a roof, you have your underlayments, you have your ice and water, you got your drip edge, you got your fasteners, you got your step flashing, you have all these things that get covered up. Every single one of those details matter. That can be that can be like work. That that one thing, okay, there can be work like that in in in leadership too. There's a lot of things that that happen. Okay, like training somebody, fixing a process, rebuilding trust by following through week after week. Okay. The results may take time to become visible, but we also need to be honest. Being busy doesn't automatically mean things are are are moving forward or or we're making progress. So so give yourself, so we got to give ourselves like some concrete evidence, all right. Are are we repeating the same mistakes less often? Are we catching problems early? Are people clear about what they're taking ownership of? Are we following through more consistently? You know, just pick a few. Pick a few signs that actually connect to the results that we want. Okay. Review them regularly. All right, jot them down, write down the progress, the smallest things, just like I was talking about, all these little mini steps of preparation that we have to do before we install shingles, that nobody ever gets to see until the final product is fully installed. Okay. So review these little baby steps. Review the preparation. Okay. I would say review them regularly with with someone who will tell you the truth. Are we making progress or aren't we making progress? All right. If something is improving, acknowledge it. Acknowledge it for yourself. Give your team credit, give your family credit, give your wife credit. Let the evidence matter. Even if you're still a long way from where from where we want to be. Okay, share the little mini wins along the way, along the journey. If nothing is improving, get curious. I say it all the time. Get curious and stay curious. Find out what needs to change. More effort won't fix every problem. Okay. Sometimes we need to make we need to make a different decision. And then the whole situation, you know, at times can can feel too big. Shorten the distance. Don't make the goal so lofty. Figure out sometimes we need to figure out what needs our attention before launch. What can we finish today? Who who can help who can help us take it to the next step? Who can help us get to the next level? We can work towards a long term future while giving ourselves Of a manageable assignment just for the afternoon. Okay. Because sometimes I am guilty of trying to fix everything that's going on in my life, personally and professionally, and I get so overwhelmed and it becomes entirely too big and I don't know where to start. And sometimes I just need to focus on the smaller, finer details, okay, and start chipping away at the smaller things. Put the smallest things at the top of the list and then learn how to prioritize those things. Sometimes there are more important bigger things, that one big thing that just needs to happen, that just needs to happen. Okay, prioritize, figure out how to prioritize. But a lot of times it's just a bunch of small things that have snowballed and have feel like it has created like this huge snowball that just rolls over the top of you as you're standing at the bottom of the hill, as you continue to keep trying to trudge the road to happy destiny to get to the top of the peak, and you just feel like every time you turn around, you're getting smacked in the face with another snowball. I get it. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, keep moving forward. Consistency. Consistency. Continual consistency. It's the only time we ever see progress. And this is another thing, too. Don't quit five minutes before the miracle happens. I'm sure a lot of you have heard that and know exactly where that came from. Right? So here's the question. Here's the question I really want everybody to sit with. Okay. When you have, when have you, when have you come closest to quitting something that ultimately mattered? Thanks for joining us, Brad. Good to see you, buddy. Haven't seen you for a while. I thought you were gonna call me back yesterday. I actually forgot after my meeting to let you know I was wrapped up. So anyhow, maybe this afternoon we can catch up sometime. Maybe it was your business. Okay, let me repeat the question. See if I can remember this. When have you come closest to quitting something that ultimately mattered? Okay, maybe it was your business, learning a skill, a school, a goal that that took much longer than you expected. Okay, go back to that moment. Go back to that moment when you didn't know how it would turn out. Okay, I think about the hardest things that I've ever gone through. When I'm going through a hard moment, I think about I think about harder moments that I've gone through in life and how I got through them. Okay. What made what made you give it another day? What pushed me through that hard moment? Did someone encourage me? Did someone help carry me through that? Did they help take on some of the workload? Do do you remember why I even started? Or or or did you finally change something you've been afraid to change? Because sometimes I have to change things and I'm afraid to do it because I don't know what the outcome is going to be. I posted something from like four years ago, yesterday, that popped up on my feed. I shared it, check it out. Because it it it kind of resonates, it kind of kind of resonates
with what we're talking about today. So we often tell, you know, this is the thing too. We often tell the finished version of a story. We talk about what worked out. Okay, but the part that that can actually help somebody is what happened when the outcome was still uncertain. Okay. What did we actually do on the day we wanted to stop? What did we do? That's worth sharing. How did I get through it? Sharing that with somebody, how I got through it. What tools did I use? Who did I reach out to? Do you know a good attorney? Or whatever the case might be. That part is worth sharing. Somebody listening may need a practical next step more than they need to hear about the big success. And that's the whole problem with social media, I think. It's only the glamour shots. No one talks about the struggle and the shit that they went through. Okay. They only see the finished product on the roof. They have no idea how many layers we had to take off. They have no idea how many sheets of plywood needed to replace. They have no idea how many times we had to run back to the supply house because we were short materials. Nobody talks about that. They only talk about the glamour shots. Okay. And if and if you're still in the middle of that story, okay, in the middle of that shitstorm, you don't have to force a happy ending today. You can be honest. Okay. This shit is hard. I'm still trying to figure it out. Here's what I'm doing next. Share that.
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Okay?
Ty Cobb Backer
There's room for that kind of honesty in leadership and in parenting and all the great things.
So before we wrap up today's episode, 357 of these buggers, I want to leave you with something you can do today. Name what's making you want to quit. Be specific. Okay? Then tell someone you trust and decide on one useful step. Maybe you need help with a problem. Maybe you need rest before making a major decision. Maybe, maybe you are you already know the conversation you need to have. You don't always need certainty about everything that comes next. Just take the next step. And remember the people, the people, remember the people you're doing this for. Could be your coworkers, could be your team members, could be your family. Remember that. Okay. Let them be a part of your life that you're trying to build. Okay. Let them support you too. Because I know I want to take things on all by myself and carry everything. Let them in. They want to help. They don't want to see you struggle. Share your thoughts with them. Okay. And don't forget, share your comments. Share your comments. I love reading the comments. And remember, your experience might give someone else an idea they can use today. If this conversation brought someone to mind, send this to them. Send them this episode. Okay? And better yet, reach out and ask them how they're doing. Okay? Give them time to answer honestly. Thanks for spending time with us, Bradley. Take care of your people. Let your people take care of you. Don't forget that part. And take the next step you can take today. We'll see you next time.
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Thanks to our sponsors, TC Backer Construction, Hook Roofing Marketing, Rufel, and Project Map It. And thank you for watching. Subscribe to our YouTube channel and follow us on Facebook. We are streaming on all major platforms. See you next week for another episode of Behind the Tool Belt.
