345 Weeks Of Gratitude

Ty Cobb Backer 0:01

Episode 345, the leadership lessons I learned too late. We have a kind of a belief system that either we're gonna push you up, we're gonna push you out. I don't want to be around five other people that aren't pushing themselves to succeed. Success isn't about taking, but giving value first. Compensationally follows contribution always. This is true. Authenticity, it's the truth. Every week, this is our story. We share with you our journey, we share with you our scars. Please welcome your host, Tycombacker. Let's go! Happy Wednesday, everybody. Today is a special day. Every Wednesday special. And we have approached our 345th consecutive week. 345 weeks. Holy crap. Woo! Man, what an amazing achievement. For all who have been involved, seriously, such such an amazing achievement, you know, for our guest, for our sponsors, for Vic, for Baker, for everybody, John, Stau for everybody who's ever, ever, ever been involved, you know, our multiple guests, you know, Chris Markey to David Bruner, Bruno. List goes on and on and on and on and on. And this week also, we are having a community event. It will mark our 18th anniversary of TC Backer. And we are showing our gratitude to our teammates, showing our gratitude to our community by hosting community picnic, an event, and all are welcome. So if you've seen a flyer anywhere, somebody yesterday told me they were over at the nail place across the street and saw our flyer and said that they would be here. So we have our friends, our neighbors, our partners, friends, families, pets, are all welcomed to our 18th anniversary celebration. We would like to celebrate with you. Uh, we will have a food truck here, and it will be free, free of charge. Spoke to somebody yesterday who offered to actually cover the expenses. So I thought that was pretty, pretty good, pretty wild of them. They can't make it, but I was I asked them if they could join us, and I think out of guilt, they're like, no, but uh, I'll see if I can let me see if I can sponsor Mark Jones and his his food truck. And I said, You do realize that's not why I'm asking you to participate and join us tomorrow. It's because I like you and we've done business for a long time together, and I want you to be here. Unfortunately, it was short notice. And anyhow, they kind of sprung sprung up on me here yesterday. But we got we got it in, had a meeting, and it was a good meeting, and some changes coming with one of our manufacturers. Nothing bad, all good stuff. And so he's gonna help us out. Can't make it, but they'll help us out. So thank you. You know, you know who you are. So thank you very much for for doing that.

Community Picnic And Giving Back

Ty Cobb Backer 3:45

And today, today's episode is something that I don't know if we've ever necessarily talked about it on this show, but I know back maybe about a year or so ago, I remember Vic and I sitting in my office over there, and we were talking about different layers, different levels of trust, you know, and and how trust can be built and and how trust can be broken. And I I want to talk about that today. Vic Vic kind of planted the seed, and you know, so of course, we share our experience, strength and hope on here, and only usually my experiences, I won't usually go too far off on a tangent that on a topic that I don't know much about. So I don't normally want to talk about shit that I don't know anything about or haven't haven't experienced it. But this is definitely something that I've got to experience over the years. It is definitely something that I have worked on, something that I have failed miserably at on both sides of the fence, and want to continue to work on it. And, you know, looking back over, you know, my career, uh man, I've realized, you know, I've I've learned a lot of lessons and wish that I wished I would have learned things a lot sooner, you know, but there was like nobody, there wasn't anybody that had taught me, especially about things like this. You know, it's just I guess until you start to really start to experience things and good things, bad things in business, you know, and it really, it really, this topic has really got me thinking about trust a lot lately, not because, you know, I I read a leadership book on it, not because I I saw a great keynote speaker, but because I keep seeing it, I keep seeing it because now I guess I'm I'm looking for it again, but I keep seeing it in our business, I keep seeing it in businesses, I see it, I see it inside families, friendships, marriages,

Trust Has Many Levels

Ty Cobb Backer 6:15

shit, inside leadership and honestly, you know, inside my own life, you know, and if I could, if I could sit down with my with my 25-year-old self, you know, over a cup of coffee, I I think one of the first things I'd I'd tell him would be trust has many levels. You know, but but I didn't understand it, didn't understand it for a long time. And I thought people either trusted you or they didn't. And I thought if if if you if you hired someone, you trusted them. If they were good teammates, team members, you trusted them. If if they if they were family, okay, and that's a big one for me, you trusted them. If if they were your friend, you you trusted them. Right? Simple enough. Sounds simple enough, but but the one thing I think I know that life has taught me something completely different. You know, trust trust isn't trust isn't binary. Sorry. Well, uh, Vic rearranged the studio here and brought back the old black magic studio camera, which I love the looks of that thing, especially when when we're in studio and and especially on the road too, man. It's just good eye candy, and I can tell the camera's on. So if I'm kind of like all over the place and standing a little bit differently, it's because we we brought Vic brought some of our on the road slash studio. Honestly, I don't even know if we used any of half of this stuff in studio until today. So things are set up a little bit differently. We got we got some more lights in here. So if I look a little brighter, I sound sound a little louder, a little quieter, things are different. But we try we do try to keep things different. So, anyhow, big shout out to Vic on on that. So trust. I trust Vic. You know, like I was saying, trust isn't binary, it's built, it's earned, it's tested, it grows. Okay, you know, back when back when Jan and I started, you know, building the business, we we weren't thinking about leadership. Okay, we were thinking about survival. We were trying to keep the freaking lights on. We were trying to find customers, pay bills, figure out, you know, payroll, figure out tomorrow, you know, and and and if that sounds familiar to any of you, this this will probably be this

Liking Someone Is Not Trust

Ty Cobb Backer 9:10

will probably be a good podcast. So back then, I I made a mistake, right? I I see I see young leaders uh make the same mistake all the time. And I still make this mistake, all right. I I used to confuse liking somebody with trusting someone. And I think the the lesson that that I learned was just because somebody was a great person didn't mean they were ready for greater responsibility. Okay, and just because just because somebody had incredible talent didn't mean they had earned greater trust. I learned that lesson the expensive way. Okay, I've learned it sometimes, you know, financially, emotionally, relationally, you know, and I guess the question that I would be asking any parent, father, entrepreneur out there is have you ever handed someone responsibility before they have earned it? Because I know I have. Have you ever ignored warning signs because you wanted to believe the best? I have. Have you ever thought they'll figure it out? Only then to realize later they weren't ready, or I trusted the wrong person. Been there, did that, stings, burns, sucks. And every one of those experiences have taught me something. Trust isn't about optimism, trust is about evidence. Okay. One of my favorite books, and you guys have heard me talk about John Gordon, the energy bust, and and in fact, I I I liked it so much. And those of you that know me and have ever received an email from me know that I've changed, I changed my my signature, not not only to say CEO, but but chief energy officer. Because I really, I really believe, I really believe one of my biggest responsibilities is bringing energy into every room that I walk into, because people don't need another another person or another parent or another leader to who who drains them. They need someone who believes in them, someone who gives them hope, someone who gives them responsibility, someone who gives them accountability, someone who reminds them what's possible. Because here's something I've learned because believing in people is not the same thing as trusting them. I can believe in your future while realizing you're still growing. Okay. I can encourage you without giving you responsibility. Okay, that's that's that's that's two different ideas that that actually can coex coexist. And honestly, I believe that's healthy, that's healthy leadership. Okay. And some of you have heard me talk about the trust bank, okay. And and here's the best way I think that I can illustrate it is think of trust like a bank account, okay? Every promise you keep, deposit. Okay. Every difficult conversation you handle with honesty, another deposit. Every mistake you own, deposit.

The Trust Bank Deposits And Withdrawals

Ty Cobb Backer 13:20

Every time you show up when you said you would, deposit. Every time you choose integrity when nobody is watching, deposit. Over time, that account grows. Okay. Because here's the hard part. Okay, withdrawals happen too. Okay. Missed commitments, half-truths, excuses, blaming others, avoiding responsibility. And those are withdrawals. Okay. The good news is trust can grow, but sometimes it takes years. Okay. The bad news is one careless decision can drain an account faster than you ever imagined. That's why leaders have to protect trust, like it's one of the one of the company's greatest asset, because it is, right? When when I look around today at some of the leaders in our organization, the people I trust the most, none of them earn that trust overnight. Okay. Some have been with us for years. Some started doing small things, answering phones, helping customers, running production, writing estimates. And nobody announced this person is trustworthy. You know, it happened, it happened gradually. Okay. Every time, every time that they followed through, every time they owned a mistake, every time they chose the company over themselves, one brick at a time, eventually. Okay, I realized something. I wasn't checking, I wasn't checking behind them anymore. I wasn't I wasn't worried when when they made a decision. I wasn't wondering if things would get done. I trusted them. Vic is an in is an amazing example of that. Okay. I I can tell him half of what I need done today because we've we've worked together so much, and he gets it. He does it, he takes passion in it. And whether it's not done correctly, I know he put his heart and soul in it, and it gets done somehow, somehow, he gets it done. Okay, and there's many people in this building, in the other building across town, that have earned that trust. Because here's what happens next. Give them more responsibility. Not because they asked for it, but because they earned it. Leadership isn't about giving responsibility away. It's about recognizing when someone has become capable of carrying it. Okay. So I have a question. I have a question. Okay. How and and I've been asked this question, not very often, not as not as much as some of the other questions that I get about leadership and stuff. But the one question I have been asked is how do you know when someone is ready to be promoted? And and

How To Know Someone Is Ready

Ty Cobb Backer 16:35

I'll try to answer this in the shortest way possible. And I don't know if I I answered it as well as I'm going to try to answer it today to them, then when they ask me this question. But I feel like it only, and this is from my experience, from what I've seen in this building, and I actually have a particular person in mind when I say this. Okay. They're already doing the job before they have the title. Okay. They solve problems. They solve they solve problems they don't that they don't necessarily have to solve. Okay. They care about customers when when no one is watching. They they they represent the the culture when when I'm not around. Okay. They're making decisions based on values instead of convenience. That's trust. Okay. The title simply catches up with them, you know, I guess at some point in time. Because I know there for a fact that there's been several people in this organization that that didn't have job titles. It it eventually catches up to them. So I love how my coaster just follows me around. It's convenient on this beautiful table. I'm gonna set my my water bottle on this beautiful table that that Howie built for us. So anyhow. So the question is, okay, and it's a difficult try question. And I I just recently, you know, after thinking about this topic for a while, who trusts you okay, not not who likes you, but but who really trusts you? Who who would hand you the keys to their business? Who who would trust you with their children? Who who would trust you with their finances? Okay, and this is something I gotta deal with. Who would trust you with with your reputation? Right? Though those are different questions. They they they deserve, I believe, a an honest answer because trust isn't built by what we say, it's built by what we repeat, what we what we have repeatedly done, okay, every day, over years, not weeks, not months. And we deal, we deal with stuff, you know, we've dealt with people where they expect, and I've done that. Shit. When I first got sober, I remember like I couldn't believe that nobody trusted me after having three days sober or or or a week or three months, you know, where I spent decades of just tearing things and people apart. And I see it on the other side of things too. We I've I know Vic and I have had some difficult conversations with people that we just couldn't convince, like, no, you're not ready. You're you're not ready. And it takes years, you know, especially it depends on on how much drama we created or they created. It depends on how much wreckage they've created. And it and this is I think this is the biggest thing. It's how often have we been burnt? You've burnt me a lot. I've seen it, I've it experienced it. It sucks. And it takes time, time takes time to build, to build either trust back or even to just build trust up, even if the person hasn't burnt you necessarily. So the the one thing, I guess, as I've gotten older, my goals have changed. Okay. I still want to grow companies, I still love building businesses, and I still, I still, man, I love entrepreneurship. Like it is a passion of mine. Entrepreneurship is is a passion of mine.

Why Trust Takes So Long

Ty Cobb Backer 20:55

But but if my team ever stood on a stage after I'm gone, okay, I don't want the first thing, or my children, I don't want the first thing that they say. He built a successful company. No, I want them to say something like he trusted us, he believed in us, he helped us become who we are today. He helped, he helped us become good parents, he helped us become a leader, he helped me overcome the demons that I had in my life. Because to me, that's the legacy. Legacy that lasts. Okay. Buildings don't last forever. Revenue doesn't last forever. Businesses change. Okay. People change. Right. People carry leadership into the next generation. And I think that's what matters. So today, today I want to leave you with three questions. Okay. Number one, number one would be who has earned a greater level of trust from you over the years? What did what did they actually do to earn it? Okay. Number two, who who are you investing in right now? Okay. Who has the potential that simply needs opportunity? All right. And finally, finally, if if the people closest to you were were making a list of the people that they trust the most, would you be on that list?

Legacy Questions And Final Challenge

Ty Cobb Backer 23:06

Because here's what I've learned over the years. Okay, trust isn't built during the big moments. Okay. It's built by telling the truth. It's built by doing what you said you would do day after day, year after year, little by little, until one day someone looks at you and says, I trust you. I don't know many compliments greater than that one. I trust you. So thank you for spending these few minutes with me today. If this conversation challenged you, I hope, I hope you'll share it with another person, a business owner, husband, a wife, shit, a friend, because every every relationship we have is built on trust. And remember this, okay? Leadership isn't isn't measured by how many people work for you. Leadership is measured by by how many, many people trust you enough to follow you. All right. So keep building, keep believing in people, and never stop earning trust you've been given. We'll see you next time on Behind the Tool Belt.

SPEAKER_00 24:43

Thanks to our sponsors, TC Backer Construction, Hook Roofing Marketing, Roofal, and Project Map It. And thank you for watching. Subscribe to our YouTube channel and follow us on Facebook. We are streaming on all major platforms. See you next week for another episode of Behind the Tool Belt.