Ty Cobb Backer: 0:00

Episode 321, brick by brick, day by day, progress is progress, and a win is win, no matter how small.

SPEAKER_01: 0:07

We have a kind of a belief system that either we're gonna push you up, we're gonna push you out.

Ty Cobb Backer: 0:12

I don't wanna be around five other people that aren't pushing themselves to succeed. Success isn't about taking, but giving value first. Compensationally follows contribution always.

SPEAKER_01: 0:24

This is true authenticity. It's the truth. Every week, this is our story. We share with you our journey, we share with you our scars. Please welcome your host, Ty Cobb Backer.

Ty Cobb Backer: 0:34

And let's go. Man, it's been beautiful. Last couple of days, man, my soul needed that. I think the sun peaked out last night for a little while. And it was nice. It was nice, it was nice, it was nice. And uh today's topic was gonna be about mo. And if you've ever sat in on any of our meetings here, I talk about mo a lot. I'd like to invite Mo home as often and as soon as possible. And Mo is momentum. And I was struggling, I don't know, Thursday, Friday, I kind of fell into a little bit of a funk. And I had to reach for my little trusty tool pouch, my little tool bag, my tool belt. I had to dig in there, I had to pull some tools out, and uh essentially I had to get back to the basics a little bit because I was, you know, I was fixated on things that haven't happened yet, things that may never happen. I was trying to fix them in my head, just swirling around, mentally masturbating. The squirrel freaking cage was off the hook. And that's kind of where I uh came up with today's topic. And and Vic and I, we started a small little behind the scenes, I don't know, probably about two years ago, a little little podcast that we it's a little little less, a little more, little more than PG13. And uh we called it brick by brick. And we used to talk about that a lot, especially on this podcast, and and we talk about it a lot on the brick by brick content that we haven't necessarily rolled out yet. But at some point in time, I'm sure Vic will break some of that old good shit out of the archives, and and I'm looking forward to that. But but uh you'll get a little bit of that today, you know, because you know, life is is about stacking wins, it's about, you know, brick by brick, day by day, progress is progress, and a win is a win. And you gotta you gotta be intentional. And sometimes you gotta seek those wins and you gotta look for them, right? No matter how small, right? Just you got to keep building. And the other thing is too, uh positivity is is contagious and and courage, courage, courage is is contagious. So today I wanna I want to live right in that little zone, that little that little spot right there. And because if you've ever tried to build anything, you know, worth worth having a family, uh, teams, a company, a freaking house, um you know exactly what I'm talking about. So it's it's not the the big dramatic moments that that change your life. It's it's the small repeatable actions that we stack. And and that brings me, you know, to to today's topic. Mo M O momentum. Not motivation, not hype, not waiting for that. Does it feel right? Moment. No, we're talking about momentum because motivation, motivation is like a visitor. It just kind of pops in and pops out. And I don't know if half the time I actually feel motivated to do things, especially the big, the big task, the big goals, the big goalposts that we set. And I don't know if there's much much motivation some days. I mean, there is obviously when the idea pops in my head and uh but but becomes grueling at times and it's hard, you know. But but momentum, right? Momentum is is is like a resident, right? Momentum is what happens when you do the work, even when it's not glamorous, even when nobody's watching. And then the work, the work starts doing something back for you, right? Like I heard this old saying, it's like if you worked a program long enough, it starts working you. And uh, for those of you that know what I'm talking about, know exactly what I'm talking about, but it starts pulling you forward, okay? It starts making the hard feel lighter, it starts making the next step easier than the last step. Okay, so today I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna give you simple layman's terms, practical, real life approach to creating mo. All right, that momentum, and more importantly, how to keep it. Okay. And then I think next week, what we're gonna do, we're we'll let's make this a two-part series of how to protect your mo. Next week, we'll talk about how to protect your mo. And then we should have some amazing, entertaining guest in the pipeline here. So if you're listening right now and you're thinking, man, I don't have any momentum, I'm stuck because that's where I was Thursday and Friday last week, a little bit over the weekend. Snapped out of it on Saturday. Uh weather, you know, and I think what happens sometimes too, like I I go through like this seasonal, I don't even want to call it depression. But I think it's real, you know, not that I suffer from depression, but I think, man, just the cold and the rain and the shit, weather, and then, you know, when the snow melts, it's gonna get muddy, and I'm with a bitch because the snow's gone and everything's muddy, and then it's gonna be too hot, and hopefully we don't have many bugs because of this cold. We actually had a winter, a winter, you know, and uh but anywho, so let's get started. Um momentum isn't magic. I've had it come and go. Momentum is I don't know, mechanics. Okay, momentum is the result of movement, and really any movement, um, and and here's the part I think a lot of people miss. Um, you don't need momentum before you start, right? You get the momentum because you start. Okay, and I don't know how many times I've showed up at the gym and I'm like, oh man, you know, but drove my ass there, had to get out of the car, take one step forward, another step forward, and go in the gym. And I think I think for me, it it it what has helped is knowing what I'm going to work on that day. Okay, it's it's hard to keep momentum without a plan, right? And I I guess I created what I'm calling a workout journal where essentially I track pretty much everything that I'm doing and what I'm working on. So every day I know exactly what it is that um I'm gonna be working on. Okay, so um if if um yeah, let me take a twig. Twig of my go-go juice here. So the part that people miss, okay. You don't get the momentum before you start. You literally get it because you started, right? Or drove to the gym. Momentum doesn't show up, you know, first and and then politely, you know invites you, I guess, to begin. It it shows up after you put after you put into work. And if you ever built anything, and I mean anything, literally, build anything, you know exactly how this goes. You ever have you ever tried to move something heavy, like, and I do this shit all the time. I actually bought a freaking dolly, and I keep it in my garage. I think we have one here too, but like like a big cabinet or or a refrigerator or the frickin' snowblower gets stuck between a door jam and the step. Um at first it's like, man, this sucks, right? It's stuck. I got it stuck in between the door, and um it just won't freaking budge. And you push, nothing happens. Or how about the starting a lawnmower, right? Like you're pulling and you're pulling and you're pulling, and it's like, man, I can't, I can't get this thing going. But then you take that one pull and it like it starts to fire. So you prime it up a little bit more, and then uh you get your footing, you grab the rope, all right, and then you lean in and you pull a little harder, and then suddenly it starts up just a hair, right? And uh then you get moving, you start mowing the grass, okay. And once it's moving, you're like, oh shit, I got this, okay. And then that's momentum, right? You just keep pulling, you keep pulling, and it's like each time you pull on that thing, it you can hear that you just got you gotta prime it up just a little bit more. I gotta take one more step further. But but what sucks is is is when when you notice nothing happens, right? And I think this is where a lot of people quit. You know, the hardest part was was like breaking that that's that suck, that that that I'm stuck, because that's how I I kind of felt I kind of felt like I was stuck last week a little bit. I think one of the hardest parts too is like not showing it. You know what I mean? Because that that shit's contagious. Courage is contagious, um, you know, fear is contagious, that that doom and gloom is is is contagious. And I think that's where you know where where you got that lawnmower stuck or you just can't pull on that rope anymore. I think that's where like a lot of people quit. That's like the quit phase where um a lot of people will quit. But if you don't quit, okay, and if you keep showing up, right, and sometimes it's quiet, right? Like just those little, it's like you don't see anything. And usually people notice it before you you notice it, but it's it's like these quiet, little subtle things, and you and you keep putting in the effort and and and it's slow, it's slow going. And and trust me, I've I've started out doing a lot of things, and I'm not I'm not seeing the rewards, I'm not seeing the return, I'm not seeing the um the progress. Okay. But listen, that quiet progress is still progress. Okay, and this is where I'll get jammed up too. It's like I don't think I'm seeing progress, but but just putting in the work, just showing up at the gym by just mowing the grass, all these things that we dread, you know, and shoveling snow. I turn shoveling snow into a physical activity is probably one of the best workouts that I've ever done. Seriously, brick by brick, shovel load of snow by shovel load of snow day by day. That wall doesn't look impressive, you know, the first day that you lay that brick. And and I'm not talking about the walls that we build um around us sometimes to isolate. I'm talking, I'm talking about the brick by brick wall. It you know, it never looks impressive the you know the first day. But if you start laying enough bricks, eventually you've got something standing there that didn't exist before. Okay. Momentum is the same exact way, okay, brick by brick. Momentum is not one big, huge win. And I think that's that's that dopamine shot that we're all looking for all the time is like that huge win, that huge victory. That's not what life is about. I'm not saying big wins and big victories don't happen, but typically it's a it's a it's a combination of small wins compounding one after another that creates usually that big win. It accumulates. It's it's the accumulation of of small wins that that will actually start to create that that belief. And belief is fuel. You know, when you can just keep, don't quit five minutes before the miracle happens. And and why does momentum matter so much? Right? Like why is this, why does it matter so much? Well, let me tell you why memo is so important, okay? Because momentum, momentum does three things. One, it reduces friction, okay. Two, it builds identity. Okay. I know, I know it's helped my confidence so much over the years, right? If I can just stay motivated, a lot of times I put my blinders on and I don't give a crap what people think, okay. And it creates compounding confidence. At least it does, it does for me. So, first thing, momentum crew um reduces friction. Okay, the first workout back, right? And Vic, I was thinking of you when I was thinking about this, and and when I screwed up, okay. So the that first workout back, okay, that's the hardest. That's the one that's the shittiest and it sucks. The first day of eating clean is the hardest day. Every time we start this freaking thing, okay, the first hour starting that new project is the hardest. That first call, that first email, that first step is the hardest. Okay. But once you're already moving, the cost of continuing is lower than the cost of restarting. Okay. So momentum returns. I have to into, right? I'm already doing it. So I gotta, I gotta just start someplace. So second thing is it it builds identity. Okay, and this is huge. When you stack these small wins, okay, you don't just get results, you get self-image, you get self-confidence. I know for me, when I can when I stop breaking these little small promises to myself, you stop saying I'm trying to be, you know, disciplined, and you start saying, I'm the kind of person who shows up. Okay. You stop saying I'm trying to get organized, and you start saying I'm the kind of person who keeps my word. Okay. Momentum isn't just motion, momentum is proof. It's proving to you that you're you're not just talking. Okay. It's it's creating that that compounding confidence that I was just talking about. Like, and and let's break this down for a second. So that first right workout is the hardest. Eating clean is the hardest. The first hour of that new project is the hardest. That first hour of work. Because it in the first email, that first call, all of that's real hard. But once you're already moving, you get moving. And that's I was talking to Tam this morning about the flow, getting in the flow. Okay. Um, and it sometimes it takes me, if I get distracted, it it takes me a good 15, 30 minutes to get back into that flow state, you know. But but, and that's where I'll quit sometimes because, and and I'm sure with you being a content creator, you find that flow state. But when you get interrupted, it's super hard, and a lot of times you can't get back to it, right? And that's what I'm talking about momentum. Does is that, you know what I mean? Does that make sense? Okay, so and it's helping you build your identity, right? Of what you are. I just called you a content creator. You're you're you are a contact creator. So when you stack those small wins, you don't just get results, you start, you start to get this self-image, okay? And you get the discipline from it, you start showing up, you start doing all these things, right? And and the content stuff that you were showing me today, amazing. That creativity, that flow, like you're dreaming this shit, right? And this is a good place to be. You know what I mean? And but think about how hard it was to get to there. Think about how many steps you had to put in. Think about how many reps you had to put in. Think about how many times you actually wanted to quit. Too many damn times. I know, right? But now you got that momentum, you found that flow state because you didn't stop, because you didn't quit. And a lot of people, I don't even know if they even got to experience what I'm talking about with a flow state. You know what I mean? I guess you could do it while sitting on a lawnmower or pushing a lawnmower where you kind of just get in that flow state. Okay, at first it kind of sucks. You're you're overwhelmed because it's a big yard. I can't afford a ride mower and I got a push mower. Ben there did that. I was so proud of my first push mower. It was Bridge and Stratton's. I bought it at Walmart. And I was renting a trailer and it was the biggest lot there. That's where it was it was three-quarters of an acre. And most people would have had a probably lawnmower or ride mower. And but I was so proud of that damn thing. But sometimes it was overwhelming because I didn't have time, you know. But once I I did it enough, I I had I had created a flow and a pattern, literally a pattern, that I like to see the lines, the stripes, okay, in my yard when I pulled up the driveway. And it's just no sooner I would realize that I was done. Because I would get in that flow state, even though, no matter if I had already worked 12 hours on a roof. And last thing I wanted to do was go home and mow the grass, but I did not want to get shit by the landlord or the township or or the city or whatever. Get a letter from them because I have had that happen because Mo wasn't home. Mo never showed up that night. Okay. He stayed out all night, never showed up that morning. Okay. But but that's momentum. So Mo matters, okay. Momentum is is what bridges that gap between goals and and results. Momentum is is what turns good intentions into finished work, right? I was gonna try to tie that into grass mowing, but work. We'll just we'll all right. And momentum is what makes the next brick easier to lay than the last brick. Okay. So let's talk a little more about like how how to create um momentum, right? The first brick formula, I guess. So um I'll give you probably, I don't know, a simple formula. Um it's created by clarity. Tiny actions, um small proof, right? You don't need a lot sometimes. Sometimes you just gotta crack that door open a little bit, and repeatable structure, right? Just suiting up, showing up, putting in the reps, all that good stuff. And this is the other thing, too. I I've overwhelmed myself a lot by setting entirely way too many goals and and and being mediocre at just about everything. So pick pick just one. Just pick one wall that you can start laying bricks on, okay? And you don't get momentum when when you're trying to build five walls. You know, I was thinking about this when you're building. A house, and I've watched a lot of framers out there build houses. One wall goes up at a time. First the foundation, okay. Then they put the floor down, then they start setting one wall. After that, they they start building one room at a time. Okay. If it's a two-story house, then they put the second floor deck on, and then they start standing the walls, then they start setting one truss at a time, one sheet of OSB at a time, one shingle at a time, one piece of drip edge at a time. It's one thing at a time. I've tried to build five different walls. I've tried to lay dozens of bricks at one time and I get overloaded. You know, I get overloaded on goals. Like I'm gonna lose weight. I'm gonna start a business. I'm gonna fix my finances. I'm gonna fix my marriage. I'm gonna write a book. Like you've heard me say all this shit. Okay. I'm gonna get up at 5 a.m., like all these goals, right? And that's not a plan. That's a a recipe for stress. That's what that is. Momentum needs a target. I was talking to Tam about this this morning. So, what wall am I gonna build today? I need to focus on that. What wall am I gonna build right now? Not forever, not for the rest of my life, but right now, one day at a time. Okay. Just right now. Is it gonna be my health? Is it gonna be my career? Is it gonna be habits? Is it gonna be mindset? Is it gonna be my recovery? Is it gonna be my finances? Pick one wall because momentum comes from focus. When I'm all over the place, I can't focus. Right? Just tiny actions, lay the smallest brick possible. Now we shrink, shrink that, shrink the action until it's almost too easy. And I've done that before, and I mean that. It just where it's just the simplest, stupidest thing, put your shoes out the night before, meal prep, what whatever the case is, okay. Because the goal is is not to impressure yourself or anybody else, okay? Can't can't do that. It's it's it's it is for me at the end of the day. Okay. The goal starts the movement, okay, and then you don't need like a and I'm trying to teach Rocket this on the golf course. You don't need like a the hero shot. Okay. You just need to you you need to just chip it out, get it out from underneath the trees. So then you're gonna probably alleviate less strokes, okay, off your game. It sucks. You gotta take, you gotta take you gotta take the drop, whatever the case is. Okay. You need one non-negotiable brick. So if your wall is fitness, your brick might be, you know, I used to walk 60 minutes a day. Okay, start with 30 minutes. Okay. If your wall is saving money and you used to put, I don't know, hundred bucks a week back, and you can't put 10 back. Start today, just ten dollars, okay. If it's um learning, I don't know, a new language, Spanish, okay. Watch one eight-minute lesson, okay? Not not a full hour. And if you think that's too small, well, good. You know what I mean? It just starts with baby baby steps. That's the point, okay? Because the enemy in the beginning is not difficulty, it's just getting started, right? Um, tiny actions break, you know, break have give you that breakthrough of creating that momentum. And and and once you can do that, that's just putting one step in front of the other, one foot in front of the other. That's how momentum gets started. Okay. And then make them visible. Okay. And I and I think that's one of the reasons, too, why we do the two-minute live. It's kind of like a an accountability thing, and that's kind of how we knew that Ben, you know, I'm not saying that he wasn't doing everything else, but that was a visible way of us seeing him not finishing his daily eight, his fulfillment 50, right? So make the wind visible, all right. This is where a lot of people I think mess up. They do something small and then they immediately move on and like downplay it. Okay. They act like it doesn't count. And I've done this shit in my recovery. I've done it in early recovery where it was like, oh, I only got two weeks. I might as well go back out. You know, that they're downplaying it. So you don't want to downplay that stuff. Okay. You got to act like it count, all right, because your brain needs a signal, right? And after your tiny little action, you need to mark your win. Okay. Not in not in a uh an egotistical way, but in a mechanical way, because you are training your nervous system and your identity. So do something simple, right? Check a box. I use my notes, okay. Put an X on your calendar, write done in a note, track it in an app, text a buddy, whatever. Bricklaid. Okay. You're not tracking to brag, you're tracking to build evidence, and evidence builds momentum, okay? You know, and and uh repeatable structure, same time, same trigger. We talk about it all the time. This is this goes back into um stacking habits, right? Because momentum loves rhythm. If you rely on a random burst of energy, mo is gonna ghost you. I guarantee it, it's gonna ghost you. So we need to anchor the brick to to a trigger. Okay, I do this because it reminds me of that, or I set this there when I walk past this. I know to grab it before I walk out the door, whatever it is. So here's a few triggers at work. Like after I brush my teeth, I do my brick. After I pour my coffee, I do my brick. After I sit on the couch, I do my brick. When I get home from work, I do my brick. Right. And these are all things I did in the morning, you know, one after I do brush my teeth, I read my daily reflections. When I sit on the couch, I thank God. When I pour my coffee, I, you know, all these things trigger me to do the next habit. And the hard part about that is getting away from the bad habits. Okay, but if you fill those bad habits with good habits, then you start, that's even even more of stacking wins, right? Same trigger, same brick, same story, right? That's structure, and structure beats willpower. So let's let's put it all together here, all right. Pick one wall, lay one small brick, mark the win, anchor it to another trigger. That's how momentum is born. Okay. All right. So I'm gonna wrap this thing up. Next week, we're gonna talk about how to protect how to protect your mo, um, brick by brick, day by day. Progress is progress, and a win is win, no matter how small, keep building. Courage is contagious, and now you know what mo really looks like. Hopefully, I've been able to articulate that well enough. Momentum is not something you wait for, momentum is something you generate by moving your ass brick by brick, by stacking small wins until belief has no choice but to show up. So here's my challenge to you right now. Okay, before the end of the day, lay one brick, not the whole wall, just one brick. And when you do it, I want you to say out loud, Mo is home. Okay, because it is. If this episode helped you, share it with someone who needs a little moomentum right now, someone who's stuck, been there, did that, someone who's who's heavy, someone who forgot that small wins still count. And if you're building quietly in a season where nobody's clapping because they probably won't, I want you to hear this for me. I see you. Keep building, brick by brick, day by day. Courage is contagious. So go spread the kind that starts things. I'll catch you in the next episode of Behind the Tool Belt.

SPEAKER_00: 31:11

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