Ty Cobb Backer: 0:00

And we are live. Welcome back, everybody, to Beyond the Tool Bell episode 306. I'm your host, HiCob Backer, and thank you for joining us on this Wednesday edition.

unknown: 0:28

Welcome to Behind the Toolbox, where the stories are told, the conversations are real, and postsites continue live, draw, and I'll talk. Every week, post-TyCob Backer sits down to bring you the stories, the struggles, the lessons learned, and the win. No filters, no scripts, just the truth. Please welcome your host of Behind the Tool Belt, Ty Cobb Backer.

Ty Cobb Backer: 0:53

Hey, hey, hey, welcome back on this wonderful Wednesday edition of Beyond Toolbelt episode 306. As we're wrapping up, we're we're considering our year season. So we're we're wrapping up our fifth season here. We're getting ready to we're approaching our sixth season of um Bianca toolbelt. And we thought, why not reach out to Eric? Because Eric has always been one of our favorite guests on on the on the show here. And uh, you know, maybe we can maybe we can do a little bit of reflection over the years. Because Eric, you were you were probably one of the first people to come on the show, you and Paul, I think, back a couple few years ago.

Eric Oberembt: 1:32

Oh, really?

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:33

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eric Oberembt: 1:34

You know what's funny is that you're going into season six at episode fucking 800, and I'm on season seven of my show, and I'm at like episode 170.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:46

We move slow.

Eric Oberembt: 1:47

We we move yeah, you move really fast, like you kick ass, and fucking you you get them in, like you get them going. Like I'm I'm letting them breathe now a little bit. Yeah.

Ty Cobb Backer: 1:56

There's nothing wrong with that, you know. There's and the more we do this too, the more we we realize about so many different things. There's so many different things that that are going on and things, updates that you got to juggle, whether it's with StreamYard or Facebook or whatever. And and we've learned so much. And I've been doing a lot of these by myself on just my my thoughts. I'll have a thought in the middle of the night, I'll jot things down, and then it'll be today's episode of behind a tool belt. And we've been getting a lot of traction that way too. And and believe it or not, I didn't think I'd be able to run my mouth by myself for for an hour.

Eric Oberembt: 2:31

And well, if you would have asked me, I would have told you you could. Really? Okay, yeah, fuck yeah. I don't know, I don't know where that limiting belief came from, but yeah.

Ty Cobb Backer: 2:42

But my my um, you know, because I'm an introvert, so I of course I I negative talk to myself all the time.

Eric Oberembt: 2:48

Not here, you're not. Yeah. I'm the same way, right? Like I'm an introvert by nature, but you put me on here and it's like, let's fucking go, right? Like, so no, it it changes like a flip switch is switch flips.

Ty Cobb Backer: 2:59

I think when we have to, when we when we have to to to suit up and show up, we're there. We're okay, let's do this. We know we got to do this, and we're entertainers, we're people pleasers, we're we're educators, you know, leaders, and and we when when things get when when things get tough, the the the the tough get going kind of concept, I think, where it's like, you know, I don't have to do a podcast every week, but I I think I do it because it is still very uncomfortable for me. And it's like we were gonna we were gonna not do one one time. We were driving back from Greenville, South Carolina, and I was torturing myself going back and forth, like I'm gonna do it, I'm not gonna do it, I'm gonna do it, I'm not gonna do it, I'm gonna do it, I'm not gonna do it. And it was like almost like the situation where I wasn't gonna go to came in with you. And I felt like there's no way we're not gonna not do this because then not that I would be quitting, and we've been on such a a run here for almost six years weekly. There has not been a week that we missed. And you know, I was trying to examine, I was making excuses. I was like, Well, you know, it's just an ego and pride thing that you got to do this every week, you know. And like I was just going back and forth, back and forth, but it it it's more like there are actual people that like follow this every week, like they're waiting. So that this has become way more than how I feel today. If I want to, isn't that weird? Yeah, to think of. Yeah, right, yeah, totally, totally.

Eric Oberembt: 4:27

A lot of people call me and say the same thing. They're like, We do when's the next episode coming out? I'm like, who fucking like you can't give a shit? Like, why do you care?

Ty Cobb Backer: 4:34

Seriously, and and we I was getting text messages because you're late. Um, you know, where where are you at? What's going on? It's like, dude, like we're doing it, and we were driving. We did it live while I was driving. Vic hooked up a um what the hell is that cam called? The go go pro cam on the that on the dash there. And there I'm dribbling my lip once again. I pulled through, you know, to be able to win my mouth for a good 40 minutes as I'm driving. And it, I'll be honest with you, it was a good one. It we got a lot of people were like, yeah, I can really relate to that because all I simply did was was talk about like how the ebbs and flows of my week, like, you know, it it started out great and it went to shit, and what I did to to kind of turn it around, what I learned from it, and here we are, we're heading back home. And and uh people can relate to that, I to that authenticity of you know, it's not scripted, it's it's where I'm just at. And a lot of my team watches it just to see where I'm at. Where's where's Ty's head at this week, you know, because what is he gonna get us into, or what is what is he gonna get us involved in? And it's actually become like a tool, you know, for our team to watch too, because we talk a lot about you know, leadership, and I'll talk a lot about like what I'm reading, who I'm studying today, and and this week, or what what I discovered about myself and what I've done to change some things and and old habits that I've I've tried to to break and filter in, you know, good habits and and things like that. And so people are getting something out of it.

Eric Oberembt: 6:03

So so speaking on that, yeah, you know, just talking about like the weird the weird episodes or posts or whatever that like get traction. I don't know if you saw that post that I made when I was in the airport. Did you like when I was fucking like I lost my shit on the fucking like I didn't actually lose my shit on them, but like I about did whatever, right? It was a long post. But I I just pulled it up because I've never gotten this many views on a post in my life, right? And I remember, like, I don't know, three days later, it was I looked at it, it was at like 11,000 views, right? And I was like, God damn, right? And I had a few people that were like cunty in it, like they were kind of shitty. And I'm like, I made this whole thing that said, like, I was an asshole, and like I I realized it, and like I need to adjust and I need to work on myself, and like we all need to do that, right? Like, that was the premise of the post, right? And of course, there's still people that are like, you're a piece of shit. And I'm like, Oh my god, you're a fucking piece of shit. I hope you die. Um, you know, like that's your first reaction, right? Like, I just I want to fucking choke those people. But so literally two days ago, I looked at it again and it was at 35,000. Oh my god, right? And so I'm like, geez, like what the fuck? I just opened it up because you were talking about it. No, you can't see it. 86,000. Wow.

Ty Cobb Backer: 7:31

And that's on Facebook.

Eric Oberembt: 7:32

Yeah. Wow. Isn't that crazy? I've never had anything go like that. But to your point, the reason that I say it is because like it was all about screwing up, right? It was all about like making a mistake, identifying the mistake, trying to fix a mistake, right? But of course, according to people, I didn't fix it well enough because I didn't march my happy ass back up to the Amex Club and fucking say I'm sorry to the bitch that fucking wouldn't let me in three hours before my flight. But anyway, like, but it's just interesting that like those are the things that that people will connect with and relate to, right? Because people don't connect on your wins, right? They don't care about like, look how much money I made, or look, look, you know what I mean. Look at look at what I did or how how awesome I am. They connect on shit of like, oh, he fucks up too.

Ty Cobb Backer: 8:22

Yeah, for sure.

Eric Oberembt: 8:23

Did your screen just go yellow? Um, I don't know. Okay, it's just me.

Ty Cobb Backer: 8:28

I was looking at you, I could have.

Eric Oberembt: 8:30

Oh no, my whole screen just went yellow, but anyway, go ahead. So, yeah, anyway, I just thought that was crazy. 86,000 fuck.

Ty Cobb Backer: 8:36

We did a couple few episodes ago, we were talking about like uh social reputation and and personal brand. And I think getting out there and being vulnerable, like the fearless 44 is a good come out of my shell opportunity for people to get to really see, and especially when I I brought Jana up because Jana is the most authentic person that I know. I mean, she'll get on, she has no idea what the hell she's gonna talk about. She doesn't think about it. She usually has one of our grandbabies with her, and they are the ones talking about, like, oh yeah, we went to the zoo today, and you know, and people like love it, like they hate it when it's over. And like they reach out to her and ask her, like, when are you guys gonna do another Fearless 44? It's like, it's like that real TV. I don't know what what it is, but like that is more important than us as business owners or even salespeople within an organization to put themselves out there as genuinely as they possibly can, showing their family, like your your your um Sunday Sundays that you have with Tegan, right? Like that's what people want to see. Those are probably some of your most engaged posts that you have.

Eric Oberembt: 9:48

Not not anymore. Not anymore, not anymore. They used to be, uh, but not anymore. I get the same, I get the same engagement on almost every single one of those now because it's the same people that see it. Seems like it's the same people that see them that enjoy it. It's not bad.

Ty Cobb Backer: 10:05

No, it's viewer fatigue. So now you need to come up with yes, like if you're trying to promote your personal self, or not even like I hate to even put it that way. Like you're trying to I know what you mean, though. Yeah, you you got to come up with something different. Yep, you know, and because what happens is it it's no different than a billboard. Our billboards, we switch the color of our billboards because you just don't even you drive by, you don't even see it anymore. It's called a pattern interrupt.

Eric Oberembt: 10:28

Yep.

Ty Cobb Backer: 10:28

You know, so sometimes you got to switch up whatever it is that you've been doing for a while, but it's that it's that real life, authentic stuff, you with your family talking about, you know, I didn't have a win today, I I I behaved very poorly. So many people can connect to that, you know, and the people that that act like they can't, they do, but what they they've already envied you for whatever reason, and they're just like, aha, he is a piece of shit. I told you he he's telling everybody he's a piece of shit. I told you, you know, it come on, right? Like you've never screwed up, you've never pulled, you know, pulled out in front of somebody before. And those are the people that probably annoy the shit out of me the most. I've gotten better, I'm not perfect about this, but like if I see someone that pulled out in front of me, I kind of just give them a wave, like I I yeah, I just did that an hour ago to somebody. You know, I sorry, sorry, you you you're you're good. Plenty of space, plenty of room, just hurry up, get out of the way, you know. Um, but it I think what it's not even forgiveness, it's just empathy. You know, like let's let's let's chill out on everybody. Nobody's perfect, right? And but I think other people want to know that other people aren't perfect too. And I think that's what really resonates with people because you were like, you know, I I really screwed up today. I I lost my shit. I knew I shouldn't. And it's like as as we get older and mature, we know it more, at least and and I'm pretty sure you do. I identify it a lot quicker, like halfway through my rant, I'm like, shit.

Eric Oberembt: 11:58

But we only do because we put work in to be able to identify it, right? Because there's still so many people out there, like it doesn't just come with age because like some people become fucking shittier with age. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, but if you don't actually put the work in, which I know that like you and I have both done work to be able to try and become better, because like the whole thing with empathy too is something that I talk about a lot, right? Um but it it is a learned skill, and it's not something that comes naturally to most people, most people, but if you can if it it doesn't happen immediately, right? Like it for me, it's like that guy cuts me off in your in your example, and my my my first thought is you son of a bitch, I am going to floor my fucking 6'2 into the back of your goddamn little beaner fucking car, and then all of a sudden I'm like, uh no, don't do that, that's wrong. You're being an asshole, but now I catch it, right? Where 10 years ago, I would have just kept going with it for an hour and I would have let it ruin my goddamn day, too.

Ty Cobb Backer: 13:06

Yes, and everybody else is that you and everybody else's around me, right?

Eric Oberembt: 13:11

That's the difference today because we've put in the work. We're not fucking perfect, but like we're actually trying to get better, and I think that's the that's the thing. And then, and but then when you get the comments of why didn't you do this? It's like motherfucker, I just said I'm trying, I just said that I'm fucking working and I'm trying to get better. Eat a dick, right? Like, you're bringing me right back to fucking being pissed off again.

Ty Cobb Backer: 13:33

Yeah, right, yeah. You know, sometimes you don't know what the right thing is to do. Like, okay, I didn't think about that at the time. I'm just telling you right now, I feel like a piece of crap. Okay. I didn't think that I should run upstairs. And if I would have ran upstairs, I would have missed my flight. So maybe I'll send them a freaking Christmas card. I don't know, but yeah, no, no, I get it. No, it's all good. It's and it's like you said, it's a skill, and a skill is something you can work on and get better at, and it it takes time. And I almost feel like too, it's been a while since I completely lost my shit. But the last time I did, I had such an emotional hangover from it and beat myself up so bad. And I think I want to say it was with a team member, and that is like the worst time because the last thing I want is them to to have the lack of respect and and uh you know to have to go and make an amends to somebody that you know you're supposed to be leading, you know. I mean it's it feels like the remorse after a drunk, doesn't it? Yes, totally almost feels like a relapse. I I wanted to say that.

Speaker 1: 14:38

Yep.

Ty Cobb Backer: 14:38

Um, and that's what I say to myself, literally is what I say. I relapsed. I I that is old behavior. There's many different ways that I could have handled that situation, you know. And unfortunately, I think I'm just not smart enough. And my first reaction is rage because I'm not intelligent enough to come up with the words to get my point across that this is messed up. You know, so right away I want to go to rage and let them know how wrong they are. And and usually whatever they did, my behavior outweighs what they did anyhow. And that's the that's the worst part of it. I've done that so many times over the years where it's like I think I've gotten better, like, and I can almost feel it coming. Like, this is gonna, I can make any situation as good as I want or make it any worse that I want. And and sometimes, unfortunately, I like I like to make situations a lot worse than what they have to be. And it just creates a lot of pain for myself, most importantly. Not that, you know, that the other people that are involved aren't important, but you know, I'm I'm really about mental health and and physical health. And when I get that way, it really messes up my my mental. And there's so many other important things that I need to be focused on, not licking my wounds and making amends to other people when there are so many other positive things going on in my life. But yet there was something that usually I elected that I was avoiding to take care of that was eating at me to begin with, and then usually I will take it out. There will be a something that happens that I end up taking my external emotions from something that had nothing to do with that situation. I'll usually take it out on somebody else. And this is the thing somebody told me a long time ago. If there's something wrong, there's something wrong with me. If I'm allowing exterior situations to affect my my interior, then there's something wrong with me.

Eric Oberembt: 16:40

It's always us. Yeah, it's always us. We always gotta figure that out. By the way, I was just looking right here to my left, right, whatever the fuck that is. How excited are you for that?

Ty Cobb Backer: 16:54

What is that back there?

Eric Oberembt: 16:57

What is that?

Ty Cobb Backer: 16:58

Oh, that is exhale. I'm super excited about that.

Eric Oberembt: 17:01

How excited are you for that? I'm fucking stoked. Like, this is gonna be better than the first two.

Ty Cobb Backer: 17:07

No, I'm I'm I'm each year I get more and more excited about it. I I I truly do, because I I know I know what to expect when it comes to scuba diving. Outside of that, I really don't know what to expect because I never know what you have in mind. But every year you've done it so far, I've gotten more and more out of it. And I'm actually applying a lot of the stuff that I learned on the last trip with you guys. We're actually trying to come up with, I'm calling it a a 30-day reset challenge. And there's breathing involved in it. And of course, I got that from Dr. Gary when he he measured us on his his little machine and the age that I am before I get on the machine and do my breathing, and then he measures how old I am then. Um, now I don't explain all of that, but um, you know, one of one of the challenges in it is a is uh uh a two-minute breathing throughout the course of the day. When when you start feeling overwhelmed, you know, what what are you doing to move the needle? And and certain things that I'm I'm adding to this challenge. I don't want it to be any more than than eight things, kind of like Hunter's Fearless 44, like his daily eights and stuff like that. And but uh most of it is is mental. Now there's a diet and exercise and stuff like that involved, but most of it has to do with um mental stuff, you know, stretching, um, doing a two-minute reset throughout the course of the day of just getting up and moving, right? You're someone like me that sits at a desk a lot, you know. I need to get up and just move. And I started doing these core exercises and stretches, and literally it takes approximately two minutes to strengthen my core and to stretch my back in the position that it should be stretched to try to help save my L4 and L5. I'm in the process of so that's kind of where some of this came from because the way that I sit is affecting my back. So I got to get up and do a two-minute reset. I'm calling it a two-minute reset, you lean back, and then the other one's like the the cobra stretch, you get on your belly. It's like you can do that anywhere. I don't care if you're at an airport in your office, like it doesn't matter. Like you can you can do that anywhere. So anyhow, um we're we're kind of scrubbing it and and making sure it's very self-explanatory of the the daily eights that that um we're proposing, you know, to challenge people to do on a day-to-day basis. But what's cool about this, just like the fearless 44, you're going to want to do this once this challenge is over. And a lot of it has to do with input and output. So, what are you inputting? Who are you surrounding yourself with? What shit are you listening to? What shit are you not learning? What shit are you not reading? So, one of the challenges is to remove an input, a bad input, whether it's watching news at night while you're laying in bed, remove that and start, you know, and then you got to replace it with one good input. So what will be your review?

Eric Oberembt: 20:03

I did that. Uh, I removed, I used to watch TV every night before I go to bed and laying in bed. I have a fucking 90-inch TV in my bedroom, like an asshole, right? Um, and I used to watch TV every single night before I went to bed. When I was younger, like it used to be the thing that put me to sleep, even right. Um, and I changed that to where during the day, if I'm reading, I read like I'll read um um like personal development growth stuff like during the day, but not at night. So at night I've started a new thing where I'm only reading fiction at night. So I'm still reading, I'm still engaging my brain and doing things. But instead of watching TV, I read and I read with the lights out and a Kindle so that I have no blue light whatsoever in the room. And it's just that light, it's just the Kindle light. So then my eyes can actually get tired and I'll actually fall asleep. Because if you have blue light on, like from or yellow light, you know, white light from your from your lamp or from your TV or whatever, it makes it really hard to get to sleep. And like I know how much sleep I need to be able to perform in a day, right? Like, I have to have if I get less than seven hours, I'm fucked. Like my day is just ruined if I get less than seven hours. I have to get seven and a half, eight hours of sleep every night. And if I re it's been it's been a game changer. I literally haven't watched TV in my bedroom for Christ, a year. Like, I like I literally haven't. It's been crazy, and it's been like fun. It's like I I I'm still watching TV, but I'm reading.

Ty Cobb Backer: 21:39

Yeah, no, I love it. You know what I mean? And it's yeah, because your imagination goes wild as you're reading. Yes, yeah, putting yourself in that place or yeah, whatever. Yeah, yeah. No, I love it. I love that idea. Now, I know you're married, and I'm assuming that you guys sleep in the same room. Now, is your wife also reading something? Like, what is she doing when you're doing this?

Eric Oberembt: 21:56

Not at night. She reads during the day, um, but not at night. At night, I usually do it when she's she's going to sleep. She's one of those people though that can just go to fucking sleep. And I'm like, I don't understand that. Like, because my head is fucking just like spinning with ideas and like, what's the new business idea I'm gonna do? And like, how many jobs or blah blah blah? You know what I mean? Like, my brain is fucking always on. So, like, she turns off the light and she's going to sleep, but she doesn't watch TV either at night.

Ty Cobb Backer: 22:23

So, yeah, well, and I ask that personally for myself because I know Jan and I, we call it slumber. We slumber every night together. She's we have a slumber party, and uh you know, and I'm just and I've I've we've talked about like, are we gonna read? How are we gonna like because that's I don't there there could be 12, 14, 16 hours in the day that I don't see her or talk to her. Just it depends on where I'm at, what I'm doing, I'm across the country or shit. Even here in York, I'm literally six minutes from my house right now. I may not talk to her. So even if I'm dipping in and out of the house during the day, we're not like communicating, right? So that time when we decide to go to bed is like the time that we kind of like she'll make popcorn or something, and we'll watch Netflix or something like that. And I know that's not the healthiest thing to do, but it's been very healthy for our relationship. You know what I mean? So we kind of use that as the trade-off, like, but this is good for us, yeah. I mean, and that's important too. I mean, not only am I working on myself, but I'm working on myself to better our relationship at home. But I I do want to read more at night because I knew I know blue light, you know, scrolling Facebook, TikTok, what whatever, is not conducive to anything. And usually, you know, all of that anxiety I tend to wake up with. You know, most a lot of people are like, I just can't put my finger on why I wake up in such a bad mood every day. Well, it's your input, yeah. It's what you're inputting, you you know, is what a lot of times, like if there's an empty bag of chips next to your bed, right away, subconsciously, unconsciously, you see that you already, your, your, your self-esteem is coming down. Now, if you see an empty bottle, 32 ounces of smart water next to your bed, you're already gonna be like, Yes, I'm you you just kind of feel at least for me, these are things, and these are the things I'm talking about during this challenge. You know, for examples, like put the chips away and cut an apple because you still get that crunch and dah dah dah, whatever. Um, so yeah, no, this is all things that again, that's us working on ourselves, you know, and identifying things about ourselves. And and it's called self-mastery, right? Like, you know, you got to read because your mind, your mind won't shut down, but your book takes you to in your book. You dive into your book and it takes you to whatever, whatever you're reading. And uh, I was also told a long time ago by by a very smart gentleman who was the CFO at one of our local distributors here. He said, What are you reading? He he always asked people what they're reading, and I th I thought that was a very one smart question to ask somebody, like, what do you what are you reading? Who who are you following right now? And I and I was telling him, you know, Simon Sinek, you know, I was just going down. I thought, like, yeah, I got a great answer to that.

Eric Oberembt: 25:06

I got great answers for this guy.

Ty Cobb Backer: 25:08

Yeah, right. But he was like, But what non-fictional stuff are you reading? I was like, or fictional stuff. What what fictional stuff are you reading? And I was like, nothing. Um not. He's like, You you need you need to start, you like step away from that. Yeah, he said, step away, step away from from the non-fictional stuff and and the self-development stuff. And he said, You start reading, you know, um fictional stuff, like stories and stuff, um, James Patterson, whatever, whatever, whoever you you know what I mean. Um, the but he highly recommended to to do that because, like you said, it keeps your mind sharp by just reading, you know, and sometimes you just got to shut that stuff off because you can get burnt out on personal development stuff. 100%. You know, so it kind of just disconnects you while you're still exercising your brain, yep. But it's taking you to a different place to just shut because I'm personally developing myself to be a better business owner, to be a better leader, to to be a better husband, to be a better father. And it's like that shit can get tiring. Like, shut that shit off. You think you're you're doing yourself good, but really you're just harming yourself because you never shut that shit off. Because that's my job today is to work on all those things. Yep, yep. That just wore me out even thinking about it.

Eric Oberembt: 26:25

That's hilarious. Um, which which is why uh with with the whole reading thing, too, because we have to do both, right? And it's why I'm so passionate about like in CCM having us read a book together, right? Um, and this new one that we're that we're reading this month, uh Happiness Advantage, dude. You haven't read that yet, right? Like before I brought it to the group. No, no, no, no. It's so fucking good. Um, a guy named Jake Bennington. Do you know Jake? Um used to work, he used to work with Sam. He's got he does stuff with Wind the Storm with Josie. So Jake, Jake, I I met Jake years ago at an event with uh with Sam, and he was the one that introduced me to that book. And I mean, this had to be this had to be seven years ago. Um, and that book, like, it literally like changed how I operate on a daily basis. Like it as far as like taking ownership of your own mental status, right, in life. And and and shoot the premise of the book is that we have to actually make the choice to be happy or be content or be whatever the word is that you want to use. It's not a matter of if I do this thing, then I can be happy, right? And then it gives and then it gives examples of when you go, if you go into a meeting, let's say, right? Let's say you have a a big board meeting, whatever it is, right? And you've got a big meeting. If you go in there and they can feel that you need this to be okay, you're never gonna fucking close it, right? But if you go in there and you're like, oh, this guy is cool no matter what fucking happens, right? It like it completely changes the dynamic of the relationship that you're building with whoever you're building it with, because people want to be around people that are happy and content, they don't want to be around miserable fucking pricks that are looking for the thing that's gonna make them happy because they think that, well, if this guy does this thing for me, then I'll be okay. So can you make me happy, Ty? Can you do the thing that I need you to do so that I'm all right? Can you invest into my company? Because if you do, and then I have that money, then I'll be happy, right? Like, and then and you on the other side going, no, I'm not the fucking solution to your problem. Like, figure out your fucking own solution first, and then I want to be partners with somebody that's already got their shit figured out and they're already okay, yeah, right. So, anyway, it's a real I'm I'm really, really excited um about reading that book together with you and and the guys in the group. That's gonna be fun.

Ty Cobb Backer: 29:05

I love that. Yeah, I I definitely do you do you want to talk about um CCM a little bit? Let's let's talk about that. Let's let's talk about what it's not why I brought it up, but I know that I know that, but but it's it's very interesting and it's been it's been life-changing for me. So I it it's special. So let's let's talk about what it is and then why you started it, why you thought you wanted to start it.

Eric Oberembt: 29:27

Yeah, so the somebody asked me that the other day, and it's interesting because you know, I started you know doing some keynotes and speaking and and whatever, and I and I'd get done. I'd get done, and people come off the stage and be like, hey, how do we work together? And I'm like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Like I own a roofing company. I'm like, if you want to come fucking sell roofs for me, we can work together. I'm like, I don't know what the fuck you mean. They're like, no, like, how do we work together? Like, can you consult or can you this or you that? And I'm like, I don't have a business that does that. I'm like, I don't I don't know what to tell you. But I had enough people that that came and asked me. And I was like, I need to figure something out. And when we were in another group together, um, we used to have these accountability calls. And the and the premise and the idea behind it was fantastic. But the problem was is that nobody fucking ran them. So there was no leadership inside of the inside of the group to be able to make sure that we were moving on this same path and the same trajectory of getting the accountability that we needed and doing the things together that we needed to do to be able to get better. And so I ended up like doing that. And I'm like, dude, I got a fucking business to run too. And I got people that rely on me. Like, if I'm gonna input this much time and this much effort into this, like, I not to sound like an asshole, but like, I got to be compensated at some fucking point for my time, right? And I was like, why don't I just make a group, like a nice intimate group of of high-level dudes that want to have that accountability and want to do things together that helps them grow? And so that was where CCM cult culture movement came from. Um, because my original keynote was about how to create a cult-like following inside of your company, right? And so it was like cult culture thing. I was like, well, I guess I'll just call it cult culture movement. And I've thought about changing the name over the last couple of years, but it's like CCM has this ring to it, right? That I just I kind of like and I just kind of want to keep it there. Um, but the group that we've made, and you know, I this is one of the first times that I've even really talked about it, right? Like, I don't, I don't, I don't run fucking ads and I don't, you know what I mean? Like, I'm not going out there and trying to make this giant business out of it, right? And it's turned into opportunities for me to consult with other companies and to help help people, business owners that are trying to come up and grow to like help them implement different systems and processes inside of their company, because I really do like I love fucking doing that, right? But I'm not gonna come out and like run a fucking blitz ad campaign that says, come hire Eric to help, you know what I mean. Like if you're a track it's attraction rather than promotion, right? Like I'm I'm I'm I guess I'm on the AA kick with that. But we've built this really cool group of guys and and and there's room for for a few more, right? But I'm never gonna try and build it into a hundred people or anything like that. I want this close-knit community of of people that want to help each other. And you know, recently we started really getting into the nitty gritty of of accountability and finding out what it is right now that you're fucking working on, which you missed the fucking call uh yesterday. But um, but we're we're getting down to the nitty-gritty of like, hey, what is it right now that you're working on that you need everybody in this group to hold your fucking balls to the fire and check in with you every week and be like, hey, asshole, are you doing this? Right. And it was interesting because um an example of that was I had brought it up, not this call that you weren't on, but the call before that, where we started making those lists together, right? And mine was this thing that I was doing. And one of our group members, Dan Lee, I flew out to Pinehurst and went golfing with Dan. He invited me to this event out in Pinehurst to go play golf. And we were sitting there eating lunch, looking at the 18th green of Pinehurst number two. And he looked at me and he goes, Hey, uh, how's that thing going? And I had to sit there and look at him and go, Fuck. I haven't done shit. I was like, I haven't done anything, right? And so I was like, okay, I'm gonna start budgeting the time that I need to be able to hit this deadline. But the other thing that was interesting is that I go home and I started doing that, and then all of a sudden, this other thing that I decided that I really wanted to do came onto my plate. And I was like, we've also all read the book, The One Thing. And it's like, if we spread ourselves too thin and we don't focus on the thing that we need to accomplish, nothing's gonna get fucking accomplished, right? Because we're putting 20% here, 20% there. And all of a sudden, three years later, it's like, look at all this half done shit that I have. And so I was like, no, this is the thing. And so on the call on Tuesday, I came to the group and I said, Hey, look, Dan called me out. I acknowledged I did not work on this thing that I said I was going to. However, I'm a grown-up, I can change my mind, and I am now changing what it is that I'm doing that I'm putting my mind to right now. And now this is the new thing. Now everybody in this group can hold me accountable. Because again, selfishly, like this group is just as much for me as it is for everybody else, right? Because like everybody in there's holding me accountable to shit that I have to do as well, right? I just bring stuff and bring content and make sure that the conversation goes the way that it needs to go. Um, but I just we've been doing this now for what? Because uh you started right away with us um at least over a year, maybe two years ago. Yeah, I think two. I think it's been two years, right? Like we've been doing this for two years. Um, and I bet anybody watching this is like, I don't know what the fuck Eric's talking about, right? Like, because I haven't like I haven't went public with it very much, and I probably should, but I just haven't. But um I I I love our group. I just I'm I'm I'm super passionate about it, and like, and I'm just super glad that you're a part of it. Oh no, why can't I hear you?

Ty Cobb Backer: 35:18

For some reason, my uh There you are. You're back. Yeah, my mic, my mic was muting. I I noticed that the other day too. I was on a Google meet. For some reason, my mic kept muting. I I don't know. Yeah, what's going on there? But um shit, there were so many questions I wanted to ask you. I forgot because I wanted to really listen to what you're saying. But what the the first thing that I really liked about the the call that we were on, it wasn't just business owners, but it was all high-performing people. It was the integrators, it was so we're getting ideas because it is like group therapy to a certain extent, you know, yeah, just you running the group, it is us all giving feedback to whoever needs the feedback and and all different industries, yeah. All different industries, not just the roofing industry. So we're getting we're getting different perspectives um from people and and and you know, being a part of it with you, and you know, um it's it's unfortunate that you know you live so far away because um, you know, I you're you're the sum of, whether you know that or not. And I'm I probably told you that before, but you are the sum of me. You know, that they say if you hang out with five idiots, you're gonna be the sixth idiot, and you're one of those idiots that I elect to to hang out with. You you know what I mean? And because you've pushed me places that people, other people haven't or can't or won't. Um, and the diving experience, and and be even before that, but that was the biggest life-altering thing, and and I needed that at that particular time of my life to overcome because we I've gotten comfortable being uncomfortable, but there was a there was a certain comfortability there that I have reached. You know what I mean? But then there's that other gear, like way, like we went up 10 steps with that first experience at at the X Hale event, and you know, and there was work involved with that. Like I had to go to a swimming pool and get certified and then do an open water certification, which is the worst part of it because you're doing all the scary shit, you're not enjoying yourself, like rip your mask off, turn your tank off. All these weird, crazy things that you do 50 feet in the water is not comfortable at all. And I needed that, and I refer back to that. So I think it was last week I was talking about on the podcast where it's like if I'm going through something, reflect back on something that you went through that was that was you know troubling or uncomfortable, and remember how you got through that and how much better you were for that. And I refer back to that moment of diving for the very first time and doing that really uncomfortable stuff a lot. I reflect on that a lot when when something comes up and it's like, oh man, I don't know if I can do it. I I think back to the first time I went diving where it was like, man, if I did that, there's nothing that I can accomplish anything, like literally anything, because that goes against everything. Going underwater, not holding your breath, breathing through your mouth, like everything.

Eric Oberembt: 38:24

Everything the real parallel to that though, for those of you the for the people that weren't there to watch you and to witness it, is not only the fact that you did it, right? But remember the first dive that you did, you were a fucking kick and panicky Pete, right? I mean, you were fucking all over the goddamn place, right? By the end of that trip, you were a completely different person and you're a completely different diver, right? And here's and here's something that I'll tell you is like it's been a year for you, right? Like since you dove until you know, before we get back in the water again for you in April. And obviously, I go more often than everybody else does, right? But when you get back in that water, that first dive is gonna be super fucking uncomfortable again, right? Because it doesn't all just fucking come back. A lot of it does, but like that first dive, you're like, oh fuck, is this working? Did I check this? Did I fucking do that? Did I but right? But then after you get that first one under your belt, and like all of that parallels into life so much, right? It's like you just have to have repetition, right? The more you fucking do something, the better you get at it, and the easier it becomes. And then you hit that fucking plateau of you were here and you thought this was super fucking uncomfortable, right? This isn't uncomfortable anymore. This is normal, right? So now how the fuck do we get here? Now we gotta fucking break through this threshold of uncomfortable because it's not uncomfortable anymore. This is just normal. This is what the fuck Ty and Eric do. Now, how do we fucking go here? What's the next goddamn step? Right, and figuring that out together, right, to your point of like, who do you have around you? Right? Because you gotta have people that you're talking to going, dude, what's next? Because we did these fucking things and I've pushed my fucking limits, but like there's gotta be more, right? Because if I'm tapped out, then fucking dig my hole. Seriously, and I ain't ready to dig my fucking hole yet.

Ty Cobb Backer: 40:24

Yeah, me neither, not even close. Then and thank you for for creating that. Thank you for having the vision, you know, for that. And like you said, it it parallels to so many things in life, you know. You know, just the the struggles, the learning curve, and and getting comfortable with you know, and step walking through that fear that was probably the biggest thing. Like you said, I was a floundering, um, blubbering, fearful, you know. You're just scared, yeah. You're just scared, right? I mean, which is expected non-amphibious creature in the water at that time, and and with having you guys there and watching how you kind of went through the water and realizing and it's so it's so fitting for the retreat to be called exhale. And that's all I really needed to do the whole time. Yes, and and having faith in the equipment, right? Because that's trust is a whole other thing. Yep. You know what I mean?

Eric Oberembt: 41:20

A part of life too is is being able to trust yourself, trust, trust the equipment, trust the process, trust you know, and I and trust, even if the equipment does fail, that you have the training to be able to react and that you know somebody's near you and like all isn't going to end, you're not gonna die. You fucking knock on somebody, you hold your breath for a minute and say, Give me your fucking reg. You know what I mean? Like, but having that training and that confidence to know that it's okay, yeah, right, is the next step.

Ty Cobb Backer: 41:47

Absolutely, you know. So it's it's so I don't even know the word metaphorically the the whole experience is just uh you you unless you've experienced it, you you can't, it's really hard to explain. And the whole yoga we did yoga last year in the morning, it was amazing. It was it was amazing. And I I realized how stiff my hips were, you know, and and how important it is not to have stiff hips, especially with with my new golfing adventure that I'm on here lately. It's it's all about keeping the hips loose, you know, and and at least that helps and lower back pain and shit like that, going into the stretch thing that I was talking about, the two-minute reset um earlier. But like I'm learning, I've learned those things from you and and being on these trips and surrounding myself around like people like you. And uh, I wouldn't do that just sitting in my office all day long, stressing over shit and stuff that I have no control over, and you know, and and coming up with solutions and bouncing ideas off you and and and and those guys. And and Tim Brown was was my dive partner, and we were both. I saw how scared he was, and it was like, you know what, I I I gotta not act as scared, even though I'm I'm trembling inside, and and just let him know, like, look, we're going through this together, and then he would pep talk me sometimes too. You know what I mean? Because it's hard to hide the fear when your eyes are this big underwater and you got goggles on that I think actually magnify your eyes a little bit. So you're like at least I could only imagine what I looked like down there, and I saw some of the footage, and I'm every time I looked in your eyes, I was like, is he okay? And it's like, no wonder I'm struggling, but I'm really surprised it didn't go through the air as is oxygen as as fast. You know, I was I was pretty good on that.

Eric Oberembt: 43:33

So you were right, you were right the first time, Ty. The air, the air, yeah. The air you don't breathe oxygen, you breathe air.

Ty Cobb Backer: 43:40

I knew it was going to be there, but um, no, I'm I'm really looking forward to it. I I'll be due by that time. I'll I'll be due. I'm actually I'm due now for for a good dive and and and a retreat. Yeah, we're going down for Christmas, so yeah.

Eric Oberembt: 43:54

Oh, and I'm going to the Philippines. I'm gonna dive over there too in December. Yeah, yeah. So the beginning of December, I'm going to the Philippines uh to visit my team with SMA. And then at the end of the month, we're going down to Cayman for Christmas. Um, and then we'll be back with you guys in April, and then we're going back again in June uh for our uh niece's uh graduation. So uh I'm gonna get a lot of fucking diving in this year.

Ty Cobb Backer: 44:17

That's good. Good for you. Good for you. I got I have some I got a snorkel and I got fins. Not that I need the snorkel, but it came it came with the the I gotta bring my my own goggles this year.

Eric Oberembt: 44:30

Did you get did you get a good set?

Ty Cobb Backer: 44:32

Yeah, I got a good set of goggles and and flippers. So I gotta throw, I gotta throw that stuff in my bag.

Eric Oberembt: 44:37

Yeah, yeah. It'll be good. I'm excited about it. Um the thing, the the one thing I'd mentioned to you, because I know we're getting close on time here, but the one thing that I I did wanna I wanted to bring up and and tell a story about was this cool opportunity that I have that's happening next week. And I'm not telling the story to pat myself on the back by any fucking stretch of the imagination, right? The purpose of the story is to like is to show people that if you if you fuck up in your life, like if you do the right shit, there can be redemption, right? And um, and it's why I'm bringing Natalie and I'm bringing Tegan with me to this deal because like it's literally the only reason I'm doing it. But as everybody knows, like I was sentenced a little over 15 years ago um for my for my felony DUI, and um it hasn't affected my life considerably um because I'm very fortunate in the fact that I own my own company and I don't fucking report to anybody and I don't have to ask for a fucking job. Like, you know what I mean? So like it's not that big of a deal. Now, that being said, I did not have a driver's license for 15 years, right? That sucked. I had an interlock on my truck for 15 fucking years from when I was 30 until I was 45, which is insane, right? I couldn't rent a car. Um, I can rent cars now, which is pretty cool. But what I can't do, like, like a normal citizen, like I can't go hunting, right? I can't go, I can't go hunting with my friends because I can't own guns, right? I'm a fucking felon. And so, like two and a half years ago, I started the process of filing an application to get a pardon from the governor to uh get my felony expunged, and um, it's a hell of a process, by the way, right? I mean, you got to get letters of recommendation, you got to get like all this shit, right? To to to even get the hearing. And it took it took two years just to get the hearing. Wow, right? So, like, I gave all of this shit two years ago. They finally emailed me and said your hearing date is November 13th, right? So next week I've got a hearing date, and I'm gonna go in front of the governor, the attorney general, and the secretary of state of Nebraska to get an opportunity to get my felony expunged and to get my rights back, right? As like a as a as a normal human. And what's interesting about that is when all of this happened 15 years ago, right? I mean, I was obviously just a giant cesspool fucking garbage human being, pile of shit, who would want to associate with me other than giant garbage piles of shit, right, as well, right? Because you're who you surround yourself with, right? Like good people aren't gonna want to hang out with me. And I got the I got the opportunity last year to play golf with the former attorney general of Nebraska. And then he and I became buddies, and he called me yesterday and was like, just wanted you to know I put in a good word for you with the governor and the AG. And he goes, and just so you know, he goes, I've never done that before ever in my life. And and I told him on the phone, and I was super genuine about this. I was like, Man, no matter what happens, like I'm fine, you know, like I'm fine if I lose, like it's not gonna change my life one way or another. Like, I'm doing pretty well, right? Like, I don't have shit to bitch about at all. Um, but have you ever been in a moment where I talked about this in the roofers and recovery meeting the other night, but have you ever had a moment where like you had this overwhelming feeling of gratitude just come over your body and like you can feel it like it, like it tingles, and you're like, what the fuck? And like like it, it's not like you're gonna cry, but it's like, but like just get that that emotion is is there, right? And I told him I was like, man, I'm like, it's hard to put into words what I'm feeling right now. I'm like, but the fact that somebody with status in life would have this conversation with me right now, right? Because they see that I've changed, they see that I'm a different human, they see that my goal in life is to help other people and not hurt people anymore, right? And that they would go out on a limb and put their name behind my name. Yeah, it just proves like that shit can change, right? No matter what the fuck you're doing, it it means there's time involved, and it means there's work involved, and it means that there's there's struggle involved, and like you're gonna be really fucking uncomfortable, and you're not probably gonna enjoy the process of what it takes to get there, right? But if you're willing to sacrifice some time and some fucking ego, that's the big one, right? Because we all want everything right now. But if you're willing to sacrifice that time and that ego and the pain that's associated with going through all of that, that there is a true, there is a true opportunity to come through as a different, um, as a different human and have the people that you're surrounding yourself with uh be like that, right? That are willing to go out on a limb for you to to to say good things about you, about this person that was literally hiding coke in their truck. You know what I mean? Like, like what the fuck? Um, it's just it's it's the the level of gratitude that I have to, and again, I haven't even won my hearing, right? Like, I might fucking lose it, right? And and again, if that happens, it's fine. I can't control it, right? Like, I'll say what I can say and I'll do what I can do. And if I get it, great. Sure, hope I do because it's gonna be really embarrassing if my daughter's sitting in the, you know, in the audience fucking watching and dad loses. But but like it's not gonna change my life, it's not gonna change how I operate my life, it's not gonna change the fact that I'm still gonna try and help people and I'm still gonna continue down this journey and this path that I'm on. Um, but it's cool to be able to reflect. It's cool to be able to reflect and and see that and see where we are now and the cool shit that like you and I get to do together because of the journey that we both fucking lived, right? And that we don't have to be those people anymore, right? That's really, that's really for lack of a better word, that's really fucking cool. And we're really fucking fortunate. And I think that sometimes we forget how lucky, um, and I don't even like the word lucky because like there was work involved, right? Like it's not all luck, right? But we are very, very lucky and fortunate to be where we are today. And there's a lot of people out there I know that are watching this that are in the middle of that, right? They're not on the other side of that, right? And they have to, and there was somebody on the on the on the meeting the other night called that's in the fucking middle of that. And it's like, man, you have to sacrifice right now so that you can have the shit that you want to have, and you have to have the hope and the belief that if you do the things that you have to do, that you need to do, and you're okay with eating a little bit of shit for a while, that all of those things can go away, and all of the good things can come, right? And I don't know, it's just and maybe it's again, maybe it's just getting older and I'm turning into a pussy, but I just I I love that and I just I wanted to be able to share that with you because uh just because of the path that we both have lived.

Ty Cobb Backer: 52:22

Yeah, no, that's an amazing story, and you know, sometimes quickly, some sometimes slowly, but you and you know the rest of it. Um, you know, and it's to have the strength and the courage and not have fear hold you back to want to walk that path and and to accomplish that. And you know, it started with you, and he saw something in you, you know, or else he wouldn't have co-signed for you. You you know what I mean, and that's that's the thing, and I think a lot of times people see it in us before we see it in ourselves, you know. And he saw, he sees that you're you're what you're about today, and and that you want to help people and not hurt people, and it sometimes it just takes time, time takes time sometimes. And like you said, we want it right here and right now, and this is one of the things that it has taken over 15 years, you know, and you wouldn't have been able to do that at year one or even year 10. You had to wait the amount of time, and like you said took as long as it took, yeah, right, right. It took, but by continuously doing the next right thing day after day after day, year over year, here here you are. You got you got a guy that you're golfing with, and who would ever thought that 15 years ago, would you have ever thought that you would be golfing with someone with that type of stature, right? No, never, right? And and I we I experience shit like this all the time. I really do. The only thing that I wish, and and Vic and I have talked about this, that that sense of gratitude that that you were experiencing and have felt when you were on that call with that guy. I wish that I could feel that more often, you know, and not yeah, but then it but then it wouldn't be as impactful. No, no, it wouldn't. But I remember when I walked out of jail that day, that sense of freedom that I had. Yes, okay, and and with nothing, I had a paper bag, okay, with jail socks and probably a bar soap, maybe not. Maybe I gave it to somebody before I left. I don't know. But whatever was in that bag, right? And that feeling that I had, you know, what happens to my gratitude some days? Like they there I was not even that long ago. I mean, it was it was a long time ago, but it really wasn't a whole entire life.

Eric Oberembt: 54:36

I can still remember the gratitude I had when I got out of jail, went home, and I ate a meal that I chose to eat and took a shower when I chose to take it with a door that shut, right? Like I remember the gratitude that I had in that fucking moment of a meal that I chose and a shower when I chose to take it without any other dicks in the room.

Ty Cobb Backer: 55:00

Yeah, literally, yeah. No, and it's like sometimes I can lose that. And I wish it was easier for me to remember that. Yeah, I can remember the day that I walked out and finally got to smoke a cigarette without hiding. Um, you know, what whatever, you know, or open the biggest thing you want to know, it was kind of like you were saying was to have a refrigerator that I could open at any time and pull anything I wanted to out of the refrigerator, was probably what is still probably one of my biggest gratitude gratefulnesses that I'm able to do that today is is to open up the refrigerator and and essentially get water, fresh water, good water, um, and and to be able to bathe in in good fresh water by myself, you know, is yeah, the other thing too. But you know, it's it's just so funny that we we had to go through that to man. I don't know if I would be who I am today if I didn't experience all those things and be as grateful and as giving and as understanding and I know you wouldn't. Empathy would I, yeah.

Eric Oberembt: 55:59

No fucking way, no doubt. No fucking way. I've never met anybody, I've never met anybody that hasn't gone through some shit like that that has the same level of appreciation, gratitude, and wants to give back as much. Yeah, and that's right, because you you can't have good without evil, you can't have bad without good, you can't have it's yin yang, right? And if you don't know what is, you can't know what amazing is, right? Like you just fucking you just it doesn't make sense, right? Like, if you've only been on this side of it, then how do you know how good it is? How do you know how to be appreciative of it if you haven't got your dick kicked in at some point in your life?

Ty Cobb Backer: 56:41

Totally. I agree, I agree.

Eric Oberembt: 56:44

I think everybody should have to go to jail for a week, yeah.

Ty Cobb Backer: 56:47

No doubt. I say I think everybody should be a mason tender. Anyone that gets in the construction trade should be a should be a mason tender for a month.

Eric Oberembt: 56:55

What is a mason tender?

Ty Cobb Backer: 56:56

Yeah, somebody that mixes the mud and throws all the term is called, yeah. Mason tender. Yeah, we used to just work on a roof, yeah.

Eric Oberembt: 57:05

True. You know what I mean? Like that was one of the things I was gonna implement my in our company was that anybody that wants to be a sales guy has to go work a day on a crew, yeah.

Ty Cobb Backer: 57:18

Yeah, no doubt. I agree. There's one day, there's one day, yeah. I think most students getting out of school should do that for summer.

Eric Oberembt: 57:28

Every yeah, 100%, 100%. Yeah, but I can only affect the people that I have direct effect on. So I'm gonna start doing with all my sales guys. So anybody wants to work for DM, you're gonna work a day on a roof, bitches.

Ty Cobb Backer: 57:41

But they would they would definitely gain respect for sure. There's no doubt about it. There's no doubt. 100, 100. Love this. Thanks for having me on, Ty. Yeah, man. Thank you for coming on. You know, seriously. Um, thank you. And uh, I guess there's a good good good area for us to kind of wrap this up here a little bit. But thank you for for coming on and and listen, Eric, Eric has a podcast, be authentic or or get the F out. And um, the name of your book is shit. Um, what's the name of your book?

unknown: 58:09

Hang on.

Ty Cobb Backer: 58:11

Shut shut up and and and listen. Shut shut the F up and and listen in parentheses more. Yeah. Was I right?

Eric Oberembt: 58:23

Shut the fuck up and listen more.

Ty Cobb Backer: 58:25

Yeah. So check him out. He's he's all over social media. He's got a great book, um, you know, and and talks about all kinds of real stuff that most of us people go through on a day-to-day basis, but don't don't want to talk about and and has solutions in there as well. His podcast is amazing, he has amazing guests on the show. He asks really great questions, and and his his guests have amazing answers. So Eric, thank you. Thank you always.

Speaker 3: 58:51

Before we close, yeah. Did you read it yet? Of course I have. Oh, okay.

unknown: 58:57

All right, yeah.

Eric Oberembt: 58:58

I like calling people out and they're like, oh yeah.

Speaker 3: 59:02

I believe, I believe you, I believe you. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Thank you.

Ty Cobb Backer: 59:06

Love you, brother. Yeah, love you too. Thank you for coming and thank you everybody for watching. If you haven't liked love, subscribe, please do that and give us a rating. So till next week, have a good day.